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What Did I Do After Screwing Up A Big Presentation

Yesterday 4 August 2022. It is a big milestone in my point, a life changing experience. I failed big time! The day was supposed to go well, I had prepared my investment pitch deck and prepared a product demo just before the presentation day. I was pumped up and hopeful. So you can only imagine how stunned, lost and confused I felt before the sense of failure and not being good enough lingered incessantly in my head.

Here's a summary of how I processed and harnessed wisdom from the situation.

I took these steps to recover from my failure:

  1. Denial. Make a choice aka be in denial. I chose to continue the day at work because I had another appointment to meet a potential collaboration partner AcademyRNS, a sexual intimacy and relationship expert.

  2. Anger. I continued the day going to pick up my kid, cook dinner and to be busy. Throughout the activities I was recalling the event and I was upset and angry at myself.

  3. Confusion. The confusion set in as I tried to recall and think back about what happened and how I allowed this to happen.

  4. Chose to be consoled. I journaled down my failures as I would in My Guest House, but this journal entry was superficial. I focused on the events and the blame, until I asked how did this feeling angry and confused benefit or protect me?

  5. Contemplated. I managed to sleep upon deciding to be present to my family once I understood that the self blame is an acknowledgement that I can do better, and the big reaction was about having repressed creative energy well up in me.

  6. Woke up feeling angry again. My subconscious mind does not lie. I woke up angry with myself and despite consciously journalling and breathing to stabilize, I remained unaligned.

  7. Expressed my desire. When I did have quiet time outdoors in the morning, I looked up at the sun, it was beautiful. I was awestruck. This was when I marvelled at creation, the works of God. Then I knew I had to say what I deeply felt.

The Situation

I didn't get to finish my presentation for a $10,000 grant to grow the business.

On the day of the presentation to mentors and advisors to a local startup incubator, I flopped. I ran out of time midway through the 4th slide (not even at the halfway mark).

For any potential investors out there, here's a draft Kickstarter pitch on YouTube. Please leave your feedback and comments about how I can improve this even better.

Virtual World For Stress Reduction

Message From Emotions

Wisdom from my strong emotions came a day after. I truly desired to be recognized and supported for the work I am doing. I knew I could do better and I should. I also knew that I deserved better.

This was the bigger problem. I desired more support than what I have. More affirmation, more wealth to carry on the mission of making the world a calmer place.

This desire carried huge amounts of energy which were channeled towards the anger, denial, blame and helplessness. From the desire, came my path forward. It was like a surrender to God and the universe. I broke down my barriers. The conscious ego faded away and I was bare naked and in sync with life. Truly we are to die to ourselves in order to live in naturalness.

With this wisdom, I acknowledged my desires, my emotions that were gifting me such energy and I raised my intentions to the heavens and left it there.

Moving Forward

It was a moment of grace that confirmed my path was truly well supported. I had a talk about my funding situation with my awesome social media manager Bev, and that had to work on a significantly lower budget for 3 months while I bootstrap my way out of this situation.

She was amazing. I was expecting a difficult conversation but as we both spoke with empathy and compassion, I felt her support, affirmation and validation that my work was good, authentic and that brought people into my guest house and helped build their rich inner world.

Nothing And Everything Has Changed

While my emotions are now regulated, the situation (of having lack of funds) has not changed. Yet everything else has.

My negative self belief about me not being good enough is deep seated. Yet through the process of facing my failure, I realized that I had to fail in order to grow.

"Failure is growth. If I don't grow, I die."

I journaled the situation and found the positives immediately after the presentation. I had 4 panelists who had volunteered their time and effort to comment and I bothered to ask. I got in my 5 minutes flop, the chance to validate the market interest and asked an industry expert about my business model and monetisation strategy.

I was then reminded of moments where I had failed in this journey. and was inspired to test, adapt and innovate. I gave myself the title of Creative Innovator to be comfortable failing!

In failing, I am innovating and part of the creation process. A dying grain falls to the ground and grows into wheat.

Shift in state of emotion and energy

In this desolate state, I had a lot of pent up energy. Bottled and ready to explode. With the newfound belief that I had to fail to be successful, I had to innovate more and more. This got me curious. I started asking questions about what I was doing, and the situation now has forced me to rethink my strategy of going for the big product - the virtual world for calming down and managing neurosis, to how do I find the shortest pathway to test monetizable products and solutions?

How might we ask a fresh set of questions and apply to the same complication?

In business consulting, reframe and deconstruct is a technique used to build case studies and to think up solutions to complications.

I adopt a similar pathway to help rebound from feeling desolate to being highly energized and ready to go.

How may I channel the energy from feeling angry and frustrated about myself towards creating a monetizable solution in the shortest amount of time?

With the HMW question, I was able to get back into my product roadmaps.

Feeling motivated

I have a draft kickstarter campaign ready to launch once a prototype of the MVP world is done. I can do that and get funds. Meanwhile I also have done work - my unpublished and unedited book needs to be on Amazon soon! I also had online courses in mind for calming down, tackling beliefs about failure, and to visualize the Guest House as a tool for mood tracking.

I can start. I must start. The reason is back to my desire. I used to desire to be affirmed, validated and recognized for making the world a calmer place.

Now, I desire to tap into God's creative energy and let creation happen through me. If the world is to be a calmer place, I feel certain I am alive for this purpose.

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