I'm mixing the feeling of being satisfied with my self with the feeling of success, accomplished, feeling like I have just achieved something meaningful to me.
Then I read more into this feeling so my brain can understand this emotion better. Seems like I have one part of the definition right. According to the dictionary feeling satisfied is having a happy or pleased feeling because of something that you did or something that happened to you. : completely certain or sure about something : convinced.
I ventured into understanding my complex emotions because I like keeping things simple and had just published the draft chapter of the book My Guest House. While figuring out what exactly I'm feeling after publishing the chapter, the word satisfied came to mind.
I began to feel curious about this emotion, because while I did feel pleased with myself for getting the page published, I knew it was half done because of the incomplete web form which had to be redone using a third party application.
Hence there was a lingering sense of a work half done. Yet I felt good. The second explanation that satisfaction was also tied to a feeling of certainty, or that all will be well granted me the wisdom I needed for today.
The root feeling I had was that I was hopeful things are taking shape with each page done, with each written word, that indeed I'm progressing. Hope leads to a feeling of I'm good enough, that I've got this, that I can do it.
Hope essentially led me to trust. Trust in self, trust in God. Trust led to self-confidence and gratitude that I would be ok because I'm blessed with all the experiences, resources, talent and divine guidance I need to continue my work.
Hence I'm satisfied.
This follows my previous post written to remind me it is ok not to be ok, but to remain hopeful that all will be well, and to hold out for the wisdom.
Seems like I found that wisdom!
Comments