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Reflection - The Silent Strength of Women | My Journey Through Temporary Defeats

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Life as a woman often feels like a constant balancing act, and let me tell you, I’ve felt the weight of it more times than I can count. Being a mother, a wife, and a daughter has brought me so much joy—but also moments when I wasn’t sure if I could keep going. Napoleon Hill’s words, “One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat,” hit home for me because I’ve been there. I’ve felt those defeats, questioned myself, and wondered if I was good enough.


But here’s the thing: each moment has taught me something about resilience, strength, and the power of showing up, even when it’s hard. Let me walk you through what those struggles looked like for me and how I found my way through them.



The Mother: Finding My Footing When Everything Felt Unsteady


Motherhood was a wake-up call for me. Before I became a mom, I thought I had a life pretty well-organized. Then my first child was born, and suddenly, everything I thought I knew went out the window. The sleepless nights, the endless diaper changes, the constant worry—am I doing this right?


There were days when I felt like I was failing. I remember one evening in particular: I was trying to get dinner on the table, the eldest was crying, and my toddler was throwing a tantrum because I cut her sandwich into squares instead of triangles. I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown.


Reflection - My Journey Through Temporary Defeats
Reflection - My Journey Through Temporary Defeats

At that moment, I wanted to quit. Not quite being a mom, of course, but I quit trying so hard—because it felt like it wasn't enough no matter what I did. But then, after the chaos had settled, I sat down and looked at my kids. They weren’t judging me for not being perfect. They just needed me to be there, to keep trying, and to love them.


That night, I realized that motherhood isn’t about doing everything right. It’s about showing up—messy, tired, and all—and loving your kids through it.


The Wife: Holding On Through the Tough Times


Marriage hasn’t always been easy for me. My husband and I love each other deeply, but there were moments when I wasn’t sure if we’d find our way back to each other. Life gets busy—between work, raising kids, and the everyday demands of running a household, it’s easy to feel like your relationship is running on autopilot.


We hit a rough patch a few years ago. We were arguing more than usual—not about big, life-changing things, but about the small stuff that piles up over time. Dishes left in the sink, miscommunications about plans, or feeling like I was taking on more of the emotional load. It all added up, and one night after yet another argument, I found myself wondering, What are we even doing wrong? How did we get here?


That was around the time I started working under a mental health coach. I had taken the job as a way to help others, but what I didn’t realize was just how much it would help me, too—especially in my marriage.


Through that work, I began to understand the importance of communication—not just talking but listening to each other without judgment. I learned how to manage my own emotions before addressing an issue and how to approach conflict with curiosity instead of blame. These weren’t just skills for helping others; they were skills I could bring home.


One of the biggest shifts came when I stopped seeing my husband as the “opponent” in our arguments. Instead, I started viewing us as a team working together to solve a problem. When I brought that mindset into our relationship, things began to change. We started having open conversations about how we were feeling, what we needed, and how we could support each other better.


I also realized how much my mental health played a role in our relationship. When I was overwhelmed or stressed, it was easy to take that out on him without even realizing it. Working with the mental health coach helped me identify those patterns and gave me tools to regulate my emotions—whether it was journaling, mindfulness, or simply taking a step back when I felt triggered.


One day, after a particularly heated discussion, I stopped mid-sentence, took a deep breath, and said, I’m not mad at you—I’m frustrated because I feel overwhelmed.” That simple moment of honesty changed everything. Instead of arguing, we worked together to figure out what was bothering me and how he could help.


It wasn’t a magic fix, of course. We still have disagreements, but the way we handle them now is completely different. Instead of letting the small stuff build into resentment, we address it as it comes. Instead of assuming the worst, we assume good intentions.


Learning these skills from the emotions-based coaching session didn’t just help me navigate conflict—it also helped me reconnect with the person I fell in love with. It reminded me of the importance of appreciation, kindness, and making space for each other, even in the busiest seasons of life.


Now, when I look back on that rough patch, I’m grateful for it. It taught me that temporary defeats in marriage don’t have to mean the end. They can be opportunities to grow closer, to learn more about each other, and to strengthen your partnership.


Marriage isn’t always easy, but with the right tools and mindset, it’s always worth it. And I’ve learned that sometimes, the best thing you can do is ask for help—whether from a coach, a therapist, or a trusted friend. Because when you work on yourself, you show up better for your partner, too.


The Daughter: Learning to Balance Family Expectations and My Path


Being a daughter has its own set of challenges. Growing up, I always wanted to make my parents proud. They worked so hard to give me opportunities, and I felt like it was my responsibility to meet their expectations.


But as I got older, I started to feel torn. I had my own dreams and my own ideas about what my life should look like, and sometimes those didn’t align with what my parents had in mind. I remember one particularly hard conversation with my father when I told him I was choosing a career path he didn’t agree with. His disappointment was clear, and it broke my heart.


For a long time, I felt like I was failing as a daughter. I questioned if I was selfish for choosing my happiness. But over time, I learned that being a good daughter doesn’t mean sacrificing who you are. It means showing love, even when you don’t see eye to eye, and being true to yourself while still respecting the people who raised you.


That wasn’t an easy lesson, but it’s one that has brought me peace—and it’s helped me build a stronger, more honest relationship with my parents.


Finding Strength in the Struggle


If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all these roles, it’s that temporary defeat is just that—temporary. It’s so easy to feel like giving up when things get hard. I’ve been there. I’ve cried in the bathroom because I felt like I couldn’t handle another tantrum, another argument, another tough conversation.


But every time, I’ve found a way to keep going. Not because I’m particularly strong or special, but because I’ve learned that showing up, even when it’s hard, is what makes the difference.


What I’ve Learned About Moving Forward


Here’s what helps me when life feels overwhelming:


  1. Pause and Breathe: When things get too much, I’ve learned to take a step back and remind myself that this moment isn’t forever. A deep breath can work wonders.

  2. Lean on Others: I used to think I had to handle everything on my own, but I’ve realized that asking for help—whether it’s from my husband, my friends, or my family—isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength.

  3. Celebrate the Small Wins: Did I get through the day without losing my cool? That’s a win. Did I apologize after snapping at someone I love? Another win. Every little victory matters.

  4. Be Kind to Myself: This one’s still a work in progress, but I’m learning to give myself grace. I’m not perfect, and that’s okay.



You’re Not Alone


If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re stuck in a season of setbacks, I want you to know you’re not alone. We all have those moments when we feel like we’re failing. But those moments don’t define us.


What defines us is how we choose to move forward. So don’t let a temporary defeat make you feel like you’re not enough. You are. And every time you pick yourself back up, you’re proving just how strong and capable you are.


We’re all in this together, and I promise you, the hard moments don’t last forever. Keep going. You’ve got this.





Reflections by Bev Cuayzon

Bev, a devoted mother at heart, finds joy in working from home. Balancing her roles as a travel consultant, self-published author, and SEO analyst, she's deeply passionate about sharing her knowledge to empower others, particularly fellow mothers. During her journey, Bev discovered the importance of mental wellness. She realized that maintaining a healthy mind is essential for navigating the demands of work, family, and personal pursuits.


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