Easter is a time of renewal and life. This is especially true for my family as we came to know about my son's arrival to the world on an Easter Sunday.
In a recent Easter reflection, I recalled a gospel passage where Jesus' beloved disciples felt joy and fear at the same time, upon witnessing the resurrection of their Christ.
Where we are as a family is similar to the feeling fearful and joyful that was experienced 2000 years ago. We both quit our jobs to start a new business.
The depleting bank account figures cause fear. So does every setback we face, or when we judge ourselves as not being good enough, or not doing more.
Yet there's joy when my wife feels she's changed lives and helped her clients in their inner child healing. There's also joy when our mood regulation tool is making progress and the feedback on its stress relief effect is amazing.
For every joyful occasion, there is that nagging fear. The contrarian voice that whispers incessantly.
Then Easter came. In the true spirit of renewal, I was led to contemplate what it means to feel joy and fear together.
This combination had been limiting my confidence, restricting myself from celebrating any success. I was selling myself short, creating anxiety as a result.
Then it dawned on me that the witnessing salvation in progress that the disciples experienced was a paradigm shift for them. It brought hope and excitement. Yet the uncertainty caused fear to exist. That was a healthy fear because it challenged them to live out their faith in a hostile environment. Who would believe their Christ had resurrected when they barely could comprehend?
Before me was a choice. I could choose the excitement of my work with both fear and joy, or choose the desolate feeling of fleeting joy with unceasing fear.
Wisdom had decided for me that I would be liberated from unhealthy fear and be motivated by the exciting journey we embarked on.
With this reflection, I rediscovered my intent when we started Calm3d together. Which was to empower individuals to discover three ability to decide how to respond when emotions arise.
The fear about my abilities and financial situation remains. Yet it is more a goal post than a goal keeper.
The joy has rekindled in me a reminder of how much I love and enjoy the work that I do, and to focus on the work first before indulging my fear that it wasn't bringing in money.
Overall, I'm just excited again about what we do because in Easter, I renewed my love for the work we do.
Special thanks to all those on the Calm3d team, This Feeling Human, and to my family who have been awesome.